Parents who yell

Along with the volume and the tone that comes with shouting, what is actually said in anger will have the most lasting impact on your child. Try to remember:

• Not to make it personal. If you have to verbalise your anger or frustration, try to work out a way to do it without making personal criticisms.
• Your child basically wants to please you (well, most of the time!), so if you’re particularly critical of him, he’ll be discouraged and likely to take your words to heart, which can damage his self-esteem.
• To avoid blaming or threatening your child. Sentences that start with ‘You never…’, ‘If you do that again…’ or ‘If it wasn’t for you…’ are never a good way to go.
• If you have to say something negative, try to keep it general. Try ‘I’m really disappointed that you didn’t put the toys away when I asked’ rather than, ‘You’re a lazy pig.’