You do love each other really
Ah, sibling rivalry. It’s as old as time. I remember growing up with a little brother and feeling like we never got along. Mum assures me that we did and we played very nicely together. I only remember the “get out of my room” and the dull ache of being punched in the nose with a playdough Hulk fist. I do love him, and I’m sure he is fond of me. Close is not a word I would use to describe us though.
As my husband and I planned our family, we thought that having a five year age gap might lessen the sibling unrest. In a few ways we were right. Those first years with a new sister were filled with the cute factor. She was utterly adorable in her big sister’s eyes and could do no wrong. That was, until she started to have an opinion of her own.
Recently, there’s been a few fights. No fists have been thrown, so far. Words, however, fly back and forward. Usually it is because one wishes to bestow love upon the other, and the would-be recipient is having none of it. If the eldest is not interested in having the youngest’s affections or vice versa, the next thing that happens is the yelling and tears. I have lost count of how many times I have had this conversation:
Me to She One: Yes she still loves you.
She Two: No I don’t, Mum. She is annoying me.
Me to She One: No, she doesn’t really mean that.
She Two: Yes I do, Mum. She is not my favourite.
Me to She One: Okay, she may mean it in this moment, but I promise you, she won’t feel like that if you just give her some space.
She Two: Yeah, get out!
Weirdly my youngest is much more understanding of this. My eldest acts like her throat’s been cut if she isn’t allowed to pin her sister to the floor of the lounge in a hug-a-thon.
My eldest sat me down at one point and told me that she loves me and her dad more than anything else in the world. No one can come before us. Then she said that she didn’t really love her sister at all. Now, of course I know she does. Her love for her sister is just different to the love she has for us, as it should be.
Obviously, as a parent I really want them to get along and like each other. More importantly, I want them to be super close as adults. Maybe I have watched too many episodes of Fuller House recently. When I think about a time when I’m not around anymore it would be nice to think that they have each other. But to be fair, that kind of relationship is only really possible if they have personalities that don’t totally grate on each other. Most of the time I think we have that. Here’s hoping!
Do your kids get along okay?
This blog was written by Kym Moore. Kym loves to write when she isn't working, hanging out with her two awesome daughters, or spending time with her awesome husband after bedtime.
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